8 Life Lessons I Learned in My 19th Year by Isabelle Estella
1. Love yourself first.
Love yourself first, it’s the best way to value yourself. Indeed, a very noble thing to have an eye for your fellow and show your care to other people. But remember the dose, it shouldn’t be too much. Stop focusing on what other people have and what others do. Stop comparing yourself to other people. This situation will lead you to the feeling of anxiety and resentment. Don’t push yourself to do something you don’t even like just to impress others by winning the competition you have made by your own, instead embrace only the things that excite you the most and be proud of who you really are. The best way to love and appreciate others is by loving yourself first, and the rests will fall together. I believe.
2. Surround yourself with the people you enjoy and gives you positive energy.
Everyone around you affects how you think and react. If you hang around with the people who give you negative reactions and put you in a bad mood situation, your actions will also give negative impact and unsupportive behavior towards your surrounding. As you grow older, you’ll realize that you only wanna be with the people who inspires you the most, gives you happiness, motivate and like you for who you really are. For those kinds of people brings the best out of yourself and keep you to always stay positive. Always remember.
3. Everyone makes mistake, don’t wait for an apology.
Not gonna lie, but I’m a very vengeful person, I found it very hard to forgive others when in an upset situation. Let go and bury all the offenses was never my thing. But I realized that everyone makes mistake, and so do I. I realized that not everyone’s personality is going to suit you very well. A person’s nature is a preposterous thing to be changed and you need to reconsider and accept it. The only thing you need to change is the way you react to it. As time goes by, I discover lots of freakish people that I have never found in my entire life, and I wondered why such an existence exists. But that’s life, I supposed. The decision to forgive and let go is our choice. But what’s the point of keep on holding others’ flub? If other hurts you, let them be. Try to forgive others, as forgiven will mean so much to you after then. Value yourself to something greater. Throw away all the ideas of vengeance. Otherwise, show them how it supposes to be done. Sounds easy. But trust me, it takes maturity to overcome the situation.
4. In an upset situation, smile more.
Have you ever hold a grudge on someone and when you’re upset, the emitted emotions split out to others around you? Well, yeah. Almost everyone does the same thing when they’re upset. Either do I. But in my 19th, I learned that your outgoing emotions will get people around you in an uncomfortable situation and at the same time feeling the pique you’re feeling. That’s not how it suppose to happen. On my point above, I have explained that we need to keep being with the people who gives us positive energy, so we must also learn to give back the same positive energy to others.
Let the world know that you’re fine by smiling more. It shows how strong and mature you are as a person by easily controlling your emotions and not letting it bother you. Do nice things to others, even if you feel don’t like it. Know your situation, and learn how to react.
5. Your attitude is everything.
I believe that it requires a great attitude to make people like you. Men and women nowadays are searching for their perfect ideal partner, telling us that appearance is the only thing that matters. Well, at some point it’s not always wrong. But it’s not the best way to love sincerely, nor for a long-term relationship. Appearance is temporary, but the attitude is everlasting, and it will attract people. For me, a good attitude shouldn’t be measured in any requirements. To have a good attitude you need to start focusing on yourself and stop becoming the judge of others. It’s not going to make you better, otherwise, it worsens your attitude. So, start to improve yourself day by day, it’s the best way to satisfy yourself.
6. Anything worth having requires a lot of struggles and time.
We often blame disappointment on ourselves, because of the mistakes we keep on repeating. But just because the situation didn’t work out the way we wanted, doesn’t mean anger and frustration are allowed to keep hanging in our mind. Disappointment is okay, but you gotta move on and take a lesson from it. Otherwise, it gives us new opportunities to find a better preference in becoming more definitive about what you want and why you really need it. It takes a lot of time and struggles but when you actually get it, you know it’s worth having.
7. Start asking, not expecting.
The problem with us girls is that we sometimes expecting things beyond our capabilities. It’s not all about the fantasy or Korean-drama movie you watched and dreamed, and try to procure it, but this is life. So wake up, because the best thing in life is to learn by loving your perfectly imperfect life. Start asking and convey what you feel and expect from other people, because they’re not a mind-reader, and give them the option to decide what’s best. You’ll realize how magnificent it feels.
8. Give less weight to other people’s judgment.
The last point I’d discuss here was inspired by one of my very best friends. Being able to know and understand her life story is such a bliss for me. She’s a very closed person, but on the outside, you may see her as a very cheerful person and like to annoy people frequently. However, once you get to know her really close, you know that she’s actually has a tender heart and extremely fragile. Never crossed my mind that her past would bring her up to become a very tough person that I admired today. Such an inspiring. You can hear her laugh every time, literally like EVERY TIME when you’re near her till you get bored and annoyed by her laughing voice. She laugh too much, even at stupid little things, it would make her day. Since then, I knew that there’s something not right and everything just not as what it looks like. The more she smiles and laughs, the more she exhibit her sadness. She went through a lot. Lots and lots of people catapulting blasphemies right in front of her face. As a friend, we all knew that it made her sad, but finally she decided not to give weight to other’s people judgment. She tells us that it’s a very common thing that other people will judge you, and that is to be sure. The real things are known only by yourself. You know what’s best for you, other’s judgment doesn’t matter, so why should we worry too much? Truly inspiring, and I’m way beyond blessed to be surrounded by positive people.